Sorrows and Triumph of Motherhood
By Ninon Ndayikengurukiye
That’s what parents and elders have taught me
That motherhood was precious
That a smile from a newborn is
Such a song that brings to the seventh heaven
But I've realized it takes more than a kid’s smile to be a happy mother
Oh Motherhood, river pebble
Hopelessness when I realized
That I did not have enough milk
to breastfeed the bones of my own bones
And no money to appease their hunger
A great sadness lay in me, which overpowered me
I break into tears and wince of sorrows
In a tighter timeframe,
my hopes to be a good mother darken
And I realized it takes strength to fail and still stand
Memory, Oh memory,
Blue like this scarf with unfathomable depths that carries our pain
Drown in my kids’ innocent starving eyes
Unable to breastfeed them
Beaten like a criminal by the father of mine
I experienced long months of hospitalization
Beaten for missing breast milk,
Body’s milk which I’m not potter
Distraught after the death of two of my newborn children and left to care for my own health
Two lifeless soft bodies and innocent hearts
One on the left, one on the rightMotherhood joy was moved away
Such a midday shadow getting far away from yourself
I’ve realized it takes a courageous mother to carry this and still raise
Oh motherhood, beyond motherhood
Mother of six lovely children
I had nothing, only what my husband gives me
Remnants of the production for which I sweated
And one, two, three ... six little hungry faces
A heart in pieces
No breast milk for my newborn, no land to cultivate and a hundred difficulties to feed my children
Left alone in the world’s dizziness
Like a rose, I have hoped to be cherished
Like a rose, I was trampled underfoot by mines
Desperate, I returned back to my parents’ house
Failure and useless mother were my new nicknames
For all my nights spent bleeding my heart,
To feed mine
I was crowned with thorns
I’ve realized it takes a strong woman to be outraged, disappointed and still standing
Oh tireless pilgrim
Born to fight, born to live
I belong to the race of those who do not give up
as a child I cry and as a good woman I get up
Four years ago, I joined Nawe Nuze, CARE Burundi’s VSLA
Four times, I got a loan
Four times, my husband spent my loan in bars
Four times, my hopes toward empowerment melted way
Four times, I restarted
My bones were consumed
Silently, I cleave my grief to find new hopes
I had thousands of loves to offer
I knew I haven’t given everything
And I also knew that I need a helpful hand
Last year, the Win-Win project decided to do what it had never done
Involving violent men with the main aim to improve agriculture
Oh how violent was my husband
He was even going to take boxing classes and came to practice on me
Most of the time all of this resulted in months of hospitalization
Where they experienced few nights of transformation
Defying the practices of violence against women,
learning the impact of the harmony in couples
for amazing productivity
In the depths of this void that inhabited me,
A glimmer of hope appears
I understood
That there is always a dream that remains awake in the middle of a night
And that at the end of grief, there is always an issue
Since we have learned about food security,
Modern agricultural techniques coupled with a gender-transformative approach,
We have been able to recover lost eight years of marriage as a result of ignorance
We have three fields, two cows that I fully control from production up to harvesting
We cultivate vegetables, maize, beans, potatoes and bananas
My production went from 100kg (with 18kg of seeds) to 500kg (with 2kg of seeds)
More than 10 times, our productivity was increased
Our fields of culture are nourished with love
We walk barefoot on these fertile soils
That would feed the fruits of my womb
Two identical dreams
I witness every single day laughter and songs of joy
To the beat of this sweet music
Where words don’t matter
Where harmonious vibrations are perceived with all the senses.
Oh happy husband
Amazed, expresses joy in his own words
And said whether we like it or not,
A mother is like a star, lighting up the future
For now I believe the choice to respect a woman
is the choice to become one of the greatest heroes there is
We teach nutrition to our communities
More than 50 families were directly reached by our couple
And now experience food security
coupled with harmonious relationship in family
Tenderness, oh tenderness
Even though the body will not provide food
And the world becomes sterile,
I will say it loudly
That where there is an informed and respected woman
Houses never go hungry
And lands flourish
Two dreams from Mediatrice and Serges
Similar dreams from united souls
A motorcycle to move further their business
And a big enterprise in the town
From where they would keep an eye on our lands
While enjoying parenthood
More than we have done it.
Ninon Ndayikengurukiye, communications and innovation
specialist for CARE Burundi, went to visit Mediatrice Ndayishimiye and her
husband, Serges Gahungu, to see firsthand the impact of CARE’s work. “I think I
just allowed myself to connect to their feelings and environment to the
fullest,” Ninon says. “I didn't initially plan to tell their story this way,
but when they were speaking, Mediatrice was using metaphors and I didn’t want
to miss her ideas, as this was the most emotional part. I was moved with
emotions and thought if I told her story differently, I could keep her style
and help the readers feel the same as they were hearing from her for real. Once
back from the field, I tried to write it as a normal story but failed, and I
told myself maybe it should be a poem.”
Caption
Caption
After a tumultuous start to their marriage, Mediatrice Ndayishimiye and her
husband, Serges Gahungu, have found harmony at home and at work in their
fields. Through CARE’s Win-Win Twuzuzanye
project, they have learned modern agricultural techniques coupled with a
gender-transformative approach. - Photo by Ninon Ndayikengurukiye/CARE
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