Richard: Personal Story of a Role Model Man

October 1, 2018

My name is Towongo Richard, I am 23 years old from Yei, South Sudan. I married my wife in 2016 and we are blessed with a baby girl, who is now 1-year old.

We started our journey to refuge in October 2017 around 6:00pm on a Sunday due to the ongoing civil war and target killings in South Sudan. Soldiers were killing people in our village without discrimination. We went about 1-mile into the bush to avoid the soldiers from the main road. I was moving with my bicycle, however it got spoiled and I had to abandon it. My wife, being very pregnant, was only able to carry some flour for cooking. We reached a water point and decided to make some food. The water tasted bitter but we were thirsty and hungry and had no choice but to use it. At around 2:00am we reached the foot of Nyangliba mountain and decided to rest there for the night.

Role Model Men and Boys in training.

After a couple days, we reached the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) border. We entered a church for safety and rest but before we could sleep, DRC soldiers came to take us to a military barrack for safety. In the morning, our little luggage was searched to ensure we were not carrying anything dangerous. After the search, we were told to wait for transport to take us to the Ugandan border. However, when the soldiers left, rebels came and started firing bullets.

We left there around 3:00pm and a vehicle took us to a collection center in DRC. There we rested and were given food for 2-days.

The journey was a nightmare for my wife. I was able to carry a little money with us so I was planning on hiring a bodaboda [motorcycle] to take us to the Ugandan border because I was afraid she would go into labor. I tried talking to a bodaboda driver but none were wiling to help based on my wife’s condition. Finally, I convinced one of them to take us. For the next 24-hours we were stopped many times by different people, claiming we must pay to cross the road. We were so desperate we just went along and paid them.

Right before we reached the Ugandan border my wife went into labor. The clinical officers at the border point didn’t believe she was in labor and refused to help us. A good samaritan offered transportation for us to reach a hospital. We didn’t have money to prepare for the arrival so we had no tarpaulin to deliver on or a jerrycan, water, gloves, or soap.

Seeing how my wife was suffering and our current state, I started crying. I ran away and met some men moving to no specific place. At some point though, I said ‘no, let me go back and suffer with my wife.' Upon reaching the hospital again, I was requested to provide my wife with some food. Shortly after that, my wife gave birth to our daughter. I started crying again because we had nothing to wrap her in, but she was only smiling and happy. Her smile caused me to name her ‘Devine’ because I believe she will have a bright future. We were finally settled in Omugo Extension of Rhino Camp Refugee Settlement in January 2018.

A turning point in my life was when CARE International in Uganda called for a community meeting. They told us the community was to select 2 men to be trained as Role Model Men in Gender Based Violence [GBV] prevention. Luck was on my side and I was chosen to attend the training.

During the training by CARE, I was empowered to start thinking about my attitude, how I feel about myself, and my role in the family. I stopped drinking and smoking and I use any extra money I have for my family. With the money CARE provided each trainee for transportation, I was able to start a small business with various items. My wife and I work there together and the profits are saved or used for household needs.

I now work with the youth in my community to turn away from bad behaviors and to start engaging in productive work so they are able to support their families.

I feel indebted to CARE for the generous support extended to my community and myself. I will never be the same again.

Story Compiled and Written By: Geoffrey Odongo

Edited By: Brandi Murley